A Shocking Sunday Special (Part 2)
(the Happy Sunday supplement of Sin Chew, differently titled on 1/1/2011)
Best producer: Tun Dr. Mahathir
Giving out the award is Steven Spielberg of Hollywood fame
Our esteemed former PM was one of the most vocal against “The Big Capitalist” cum “World Policeman” during his tenure as PM of Malaysia. After retirement, he has not forgotten his prior pre-occupation. So, while watching “Avantar” one day, it suddenly dawned on him that “if the US has the ability to produce “Avantar”, they must be capable of orchestrating “911”!!!”
We hereby assume that if Tun Mahathir has watched “2012”, he must surely think that the Americans are now planning the destruction of planet earth!
Dear Tun, you must really take care of yourself. When you are free, why not just visit your office at the twin tower, or go to your bakery to taste some oven-fresh bread? Please don’t watch too many exciting Hollywood movies, it’s not good for your heart. If you really wish to produce BIG movie, why not have a serious discussion with Najib? You should continue to be the producer of the movie “2020” which you have neglected for a while, but has since been taken over by Najib.
And if you so wish, based on your close association with Petronas and the oil-rich Gulf countries, you won’t have a problem getting the necessary investment to produce “Mavantar”. Rest assured that the 20% entertainment tax will be exempted! BTW, Ah Niu has yet to be reimbursed the 20% tax rebate for his Ice Kacang Puppy Love.)
Best screen dialogue: “Balik Cina!”
Giving out the award is Hongkong’s Steven Chow
Everyone who respects history is grateful to those pioneers and early immigrants who had made great contributions to the nation and country. It is common knowledge that many of the pioneers who landed in Australia were convicts from the then Great Britain. After a few centuries, mind you, the present day Australians are not thinking of buying cheap plane tickets to go back to jails in England, just because they have learnt of this not so glorious past. Neither do they think of themselves as squatters or even “penumpang” in Australia.
Respecting your country’s history means respecting yourself. So, after Nasir from the PM’s Dept. uttered monumental words like “Chinese came to sell their bodies, Indians came to beg”, he had to resign. Likewise, the principals from a school in Kulai and another one in Sungai Petani were both “transferred” for using words like “penumpang” and “balik Cina” on fellow Malaysians.
These interesting utterances would not have a chance to rise to such prominence if not for the relentless and overt support from PERKASA. To stop Malaysians who lack creativity and persist on using these utterances frequently and indiscriminately, Nasri from the PM’s department has issued stern warning: Those born in Malaysia are Malaysians, talks of “balik Cina” and “balik India” will not be tolerated!
Best science fiction: Space Travel Extravaganza
Giving out the award is none other than ET!
Our first “astronaut” has not succeeded in engraving the word “Malaysia” in the minds of all world citizens. So….we now must send a second “astronaut” to space. According to the director of our National Space Center, the value of this “second astronaut project” cannot be measured in monetary terms. (Er? Are we in the Stone Age of measuring value with quantities of rice or domestic animals?) This is because all developed nations must have astronauts.
Oh, is that so? But we heard developed nations all have nuclear power plants, impeccable MRT systems, lots of facilities for environmental protection…….and their city streets are clean and well maintained, security is tip-top, they have many cultural/ performance centers, WIFI and broadband coverage for almost the whole city……plus they have excellent health care plans, welfare plans for senior citizens…..
Even our first “astronaut” opined that our National Space Center has lost its direction in wanting to send a second “astronaut” into space. Don’t they know that sending up one “astronaut” costs as much as MYR 92,680,000?
“To carry out more large scale experiments, we will definitely send another man into space,” so said this director of our National Space Center in reply to dissenting voices of the rakyat and the ungrateful first “astronaut”. He knows jolly well that in this age of high tech, there is no need for small talks or niceties. However, for us citizens who have the right to information, we can’t help but venture to ask: what are these large scale experiments? To prove that we can eat satay, fish head curry or whatever else in space?
No comments:
Post a Comment