Sin Chew Daily's Jing Ma Awards (Part 2)

A Shocking Sunday Special (Part 2)
(the Happy Sunday supplement of Sin Chew, differently titled on 1/1/2011)

Best producer: Tun Dr. Mahathir
Giving out the award is Steven Spielberg of Hollywood fame

Our esteemed former PM was one of the most vocal against “The Big Capitalist” cum “World Policeman” during his tenure as PM of Malaysia. After retirement, he has not forgotten his prior pre-occupation. So, while watching “Avantar” one day, it suddenly dawned on him that “if the US has the ability to produce “Avantar”, they must be capable of orchestrating “911”!!!”

We hereby assume that if Tun Mahathir has watched “2012”, he must surely think that the Americans are now planning the destruction of planet earth!

Dear Tun, you must really take care of yourself. When you are free, why not just visit your office at the twin tower, or go to your bakery to taste some oven-fresh bread? Please don’t watch too many exciting Hollywood movies, it’s not good for your heart. If you really wish to produce BIG movie, why not have a serious discussion with Najib? You should continue to be the producer of the movie “2020” which you have neglected for a while, but has since been taken over by Najib.

And if you so wish, based on your close association with Petronas and the oil-rich Gulf countries, you won’t have a problem getting the necessary investment to produce “Mavantar”. Rest assured that the 20% entertainment tax will be exempted! BTW, Ah Niu has yet to be reimbursed the 20% tax rebate for his Ice Kacang Puppy Love.)

Best screen dialogue: “Balik Cina!”
Giving out the award is Hongkong’s Steven Chow

Everyone who respects history is grateful to those pioneers and early immigrants who had made great contributions to the nation and country. It is common knowledge that many of the pioneers who landed in Australia were convicts from the then Great Britain. After a few centuries, mind you, the present day Australians are not thinking of buying cheap plane tickets to go back to jails in England, just because they have learnt of this not so glorious past. Neither do they think of themselves as squatters or even “penumpang” in Australia.

Respecting your country’s history means respecting yourself. So, after Nasir from the PM’s Dept. uttered monumental words like “Chinese came to sell their bodies, Indians came to beg”, he had to resign. Likewise, the principals from a school in Kulai and another one in Sungai Petani were both “transferred” for using words like “penumpang” and “balik Cina” on fellow Malaysians.

These interesting utterances would not have a chance to rise to such prominence if not for the relentless and overt support from PERKASA. To stop Malaysians who lack creativity and persist on using these utterances frequently and indiscriminately, Nasri from the PM’s department has issued stern warning: Those born in Malaysia are Malaysians, talks of “balik Cina” and “balik India” will not be tolerated!

Best science fiction: Space Travel Extravaganza
Giving out the award is none other than ET!

Our first “astronaut” has not succeeded in engraving the word “Malaysia” in the minds of all world citizens. So….we now must send a second “astronaut” to space. According to the director of our National Space Center, the value of this “second astronaut project” cannot be measured in monetary terms. (Er? Are we in the Stone Age of measuring value with quantities of rice or domestic animals?) This is because all developed nations must have astronauts.

Oh, is that so? But we heard developed nations all have nuclear power plants, impeccable MRT systems, lots of facilities for environmental protection…….and their city streets are clean and well maintained, security is tip-top, they have many cultural/ performance centers, WIFI and broadband coverage for almost the whole city……plus they have excellent health care plans, welfare plans for senior citizens…..

Even our first “astronaut” opined that our National Space Center has lost its direction in wanting to send a second “astronaut” into space. Don’t they know that sending up one “astronaut” costs as much as MYR 92,680,000?

“To carry out more large scale experiments, we will definitely send another man into space,” so said this director of our National Space Center in reply to dissenting voices of the rakyat and the ungrateful first “astronaut”. He knows jolly well that in this age of high tech, there is no need for small talks or niceties. However, for us citizens who have the right to information, we can’t help but venture to ask: what are these large scale experiments? To prove that we can eat satay, fish head curry or whatever else in space?

Malaysians must learn sign language!

Why ? Why? Why?

For a clearer and more readable picture, double click on image, and press [F11] for a full screen display.....Enjoy!

A Magical Vacation in South America

An abridged version of this story was published in the Weekender, a supplement of The Star on 5 February 2011.

Story by Dr. Gan Siowck Lee
Photos by Mr. Chow Yue Cheong

Other friends on this trip: Chow Yue Wah, Foong How Yam, Ho Suet San, Tony Lee, Lum Chee Heng, Ng Boon Puey, Irene Ng, Sylvia Wong and Queenie Wong.

(For a photo version of this travel story, please go to
https://get.google.com/albumarchive/113453409290577346205/album/AF1QipPIIWBlDBMbO2g_OyZ-50_enFLI4RKKMteqAjx3?authKey=CPDg0Zi_4LjynQE

Preamble
To most people, including myself, South America (SA) seems so far away….The very thought of having to spend hours, if not days, just to get there can really put one off. But, after watching a tantalizing National Geographic documentary on the TV about Iguassu Falls, and the impressive PowerPoint slide show a friend sent me of the mysterious lost Inca city of Machu Picchu (MP), distance is longer an issue. I made up my mind to just go, and started to plan and organize the trip in January 2010. Before long, ten other enthusiastic friends decided to hop onto the bandwagon to embark on this “epic” journey.

We were all set to go in May, supposedly the best time to visit SA. But it was not to be, as an unexpected big flood in Peru in January literally derailed our vacation plan! The railroad from Cusco to Aguas Calientes (where MP is located) was devastated by torrential flood, and tourists had to be airlifted out of the badly flooded town of Aguas Calientes nearby. We were forced to postpone our trip to August, the second best time to visit SA. :-(

To cut the long story short, we finally landed in Rio de Janeiro on 8 August. Yes, after about 24 hours in the air, and another 6 hours or so in transit in Singapore and Paris. Phew….The following is a brief account of some highlights during our magical vacation in that far flung continent called South America. We hope it will convince some of you that this continent is worth at least one visit in your whole lifetime.

Brazil (Rio de Janeiro and Iguassu Falls)
Our first stop was Brazil, formerly part of the Portuguese Empire. We started our sight-seeing in Rio de Janeiro, where its residents have proudly proclaimed: God made the world in 6 days and on the 7th He created Rio! It is indeed a marvelous city, spectacularly set between lush green jungle-covered mountains and beach-lined blue Guanabara Bay. It’s a bit like Honolulu, but unlike Waikiki, its lovely beaches along the Atlantic coastline seem to be relatively unspoilt by mass-market tourism. We made brief visits to famous beaches such as Leblon, Copacabana and Ipanema of the “Girl/boy from Ipanema” fame. Of course, we didn’t miss the opportunity to pay homage to Christ the Redeemer, the iconic towering statue (38m high) on Corcovado. We also visited the charming Sugar Loaf Mountain. From the vantage points of these two mountains in the city, we were able to get a breath-taking panoramic view of Rio, which I now conclude, is indeed one of the most beautiful cities I have ever visited! Next, we made a day trip to the very scenic imperial summer residence of Petropolis, where a museum and the tombs of Brazil’s first Emperor Dom Pedro II and his family members remain till this day.

Brazil is celebrated for its vibrant music and dance forms, with samba being the best known. Most of us have either heard of or seen on TV, the famous annual carnival parade in Rio which is, believe it or not, five days of relentless partying! Well, too bad we arrived in Rio a few months too late for this so-called “greatest show on earth”. We had to contend ourselves with just a brief visit to the Sambodromo, where the parade takes place every year, and where young people are trained in the art of samba dancing in various schools around there. We met a samba master at one of the school’s souvenir shop, and were thrilled to get some professional tips from him to pose as Samba dancers in a photo shot. We then spent one evening at Mio Ipanema for a scrumptious Brazilian barbecue dinner, followed by a spectacularly colorful Plataforma Samba show, a scaled-down version of the annual carnival parade. It was an unforgettable evening! Football is Brazil’s passion, it was a bonus that we managed to see from a distance, Rio’s Maracana Stadium which can hold 200,000 people, and is said to be the world’s largest football stadium.

My main aim of going to South America is, of course, to see the Iguassu Falls. From Rio, we took a short, pleasant flight to Foz do Iguassu which is located on the far Western Brazil-Argentina-Paraguay border. It is one of this continent’s most popular tourist attractions, and indisputably one of the world’s greatest natural sights. On the Brazilian side, we took in a panoramic view of the falls, which form a spectacular 2700m wide semi-circle. At the park’s visitor center, the waterfalls filled us with awe as we -- some clad in rain coats – watched the water foam plunging down from a height of 72m! The following day, we crossed over to the Argentina side -- without any hassle at the immigration point -- to get a more intimate view of some of the 275 interlinking waterfalls there. These falls which stretch over 3 km are surrounded by luxuriant subtropical forest. Most of us were speechless when we arrived at the famous Devil’s Throat, where 14 separate falls merge to form the world’s most powerful single waterfall i.e. in terms of the volume of water per second. It is like a gigantic boiling and bubbling cauldron! Yes, its thunderous roar made our human voice quite inaudible and irrelevant. In fact, we heard the deafening noise long before we could even see anything! :-0

Argentina (Buenos Aires and the Tango Show)
From Iguassu Falls, we flew into Buenos Aires (BA), the 8th largest city in the world, with elegant European-style boulevards and Parisian cafes, where the spirit of Europe is never far away, so to speak. This capital city of Argentina, the birth place of tango that is aptly dubbed “Paris of South America”, is one of the most enchanting in S America. The wide tree-lined avenues (with Av. 9 de Julio being the widest in the world) and architecture were definitely inspired by those of Paris. Yet, BA is still very much its own city, with its characteristic and distinctive barrios such as bohemian San Telmo which is home to the best tango shows in town; football-crazy La Boca with its colorfully painted streets; and exclusive Recoleta, site of the magnificently grand cemetery where the rich and famous are buried, including Eva Peron. We made brief visits to Plaza San Martin -- where we had a history lesson about San Martin, amazingly, the Liberator of Argentina, Brazil & Peru from Spanish rule! – and Plaza de Mayo. We caught a glimpse of Casa Rosada, the Pink House, which I think is featured in the movie Evita, starring Madonna. We enjoyed all these sights and sounds, capped by a dinner of world famous Argentine steak and wine which was followed by an unforgettable tango show at the Viejo Almacen.

One doesn’t know what tango really is -- not even if you are familiar with ballroom tango dancing – unless you see a traditional tango performance in Argentina. The dancing was gorgeously sensuous, with four handsome couples kicking and flicking their legs (without hurting one another!) with precision and in perfect unison, all on a small platform shared with a band playing the keyboard, guitars and accordions for accompaniment. We were simply mesmerized! Our heads nodded and our jaws dropped in amazement. But here is a secret: for some members in the group, this was partly because they were so tired after a long day and a good dinner that they were dozing off occasionally! Yes, in spite of the lively music and the fabulous performance! Last but not least, Buenos Aires is also a shopper’s paradise, where we managed to purchase top-quality leather goods at very affordable prices, mostly from Florida Street which is practically next door to our hotel!

Peru (Lima, Cusco, Machu Picchu, Lake Titicaca)
We arrived at our next destination, Lima in Peru, after a 4-hour flight from BA. Peru is touted by many travelers as a dream country, because of its varied and fascinating sights and sounds. Lima, its bustling capital city is, in my personal opinion, one of the most atmospheric cities in SA. It is an interesting and fascinating mix of Inca relics, colonial architecture, superb museums, old churches, and glamorous shops. Having experienced long periods of changing fortunes over its fascinating history – too lengthy to be described here – it is now an emerging hotspot in this southern continent. Among the many sites, we visited the Church of San Francisco, a monumental complex of Spanish colonial art, with its basilica of 21 altars, a convent with ornate cloister and many rooms decorated with paintings and 16th century tiles from Servilla. There are also the beautiful Moorish arcs to admire, and the mysterious creepy and musty underground catacombs that intrigued us.

We also visited the more modern parts of the city: The Main Park in Miraflores, and one of the most exclusive residential areas San Isidro Olvar, with olive groves cultivated from imported Spanish olives in the 16th century. Our local tour guide told us that some of these old olive tress are still thriving today! (By the way, the Malaysian Embassy is located just nearby, among homes of the rich and famous in Lima.) We made brief visit to the San Martin Square (again, as in Brazil, to commemorate San Marin), the Love Park, the City Hall and old streets with charming colonial mansions and Moorish balconies. After a long day of sight-seeing, I was so worn out that I decided not to go for a seafood dinner with the group. Instead, I had empanadas in my comfortable hotel room, purchased from a little bistro nearby. I swear it was the best pasty I have ever tasted!

We flew from Lima to Cusco, the ancient heart of the Inca Empire, a uniquely beautiful colonial city built amidst the magnificent ruined temples and palaces of the Incas. The whole city is literally dotted with archaeological sites, with new finds being regularly discovered, much like Xi’an in China, I think. We visited Pisac, with imposing Inca ruins on the mountain sides which present excellent examples of Inca architecture and splendid scenery. We also visited the colorful Indian market offering a wide range of handicrafts and plenty of ammonites for sale. The photographer in our group, who happens to be a geologist, couldn’t resist parting with an equivalent of RM 200 or so in exchange for one such fossil specimen, to add to his collection. Much to his dismay and our surprise, it was later confiscated at Lima airport --quite unceremoniously -- just before our departure for home. :-(

From Cusco, we travelled by coach through the Sacred Valley of the Incas to Ollantaytamboo, where we would take the Vistadome train to Aguas Calientes (AC). En route to Ollantaytamboo we stayed overnight at Hotel Posada del Inca Yucay, which deserves a special mention here, because it is the most sublime accommodation I have ever experienced in all my vacations abroad! It was a monastery 500 years ago, with lovely landscape and beautiful gardens and an ancient charming little chapel to boot. The next morning, we visited Ollantaytamboo with its old temples and spectacular terraces, and enjoyed the unique views of the Urubamba Valley. In the afternoon, we boarded the Vistadome train to AC and MP, another highlight of our South America tour.

Of all Peru’s archaeological attractions, the most famous and dramatic is undoubtedly the lost city of Machu Picchu, set amid dense forests north of Cusco. For us, the train journey by itself was a spectacular experience. We climbed up switchbacks, passed high Andean peaks that surround the Sacred Valley, and finally plunged down the deep ravine of the rushing Urubamba River to the foot of the ruins of AC. (You can take this same train ride, virtually, by clicking on
http://www.perurail.com/en/routes_and_maps.php?des=1

Upon arrival in the evening, we checked into the El Mapi hotel before venturing out to the town square for some sightseeing and shopping. AG is a small charming and quaint town, with narrow uneven streets lined by little colorful souvenir shops, bars and restaurants, and surprise, surprise, Internt cafe’s. That evening, we were caught in the midst of a carnival-like municipal election campaign in town, where we were “entertained” by both revelers and campaigners chanting, singing and dancing on the street, all the way to a big stage in the town square! BTW, we had our first taste of pisco sour in the hotel. It nearly knocked some of us out!

Early next morning, we walked to the nearby bus station to catch the shuttle bus to Machu Picchu (MP), an ancient city that was built entirely from granite. It was a short 20-minute bus ride through winding and dusty road, but we arrived in time to catch sunrise at MP. It was indeed a spectacular and awe-inspiring sight! We walked and climbed steps around the complex the whole morning, marveling at and examining the ruins of old Inca temples, astronomic observatories, sun dials, Inca houses and agricultural terraces. It was quite tiring and challenging, certainly not suitable for the faint-hearted or those physically unfit. In the late morning, when it got a little sunny and hot, we went back to AC and spent the rest of the day shopping for T-shirts and handicrafts.

We left the following morning back to Ollantaytamboo by the Vistadome train. From there, we travelled by coach through the Sacred Valley via a different route to get back to Cusco. En route, we stopped by at a small pottery where I bought a handmade Inca soup bowl. Then we visited Maras, an old village set on a plateau surrounded by hills. We enjoyed the sight of the famous white salt pans, very extensive, and look like snow under the bright sun. An hour later, we arrived at Moray, a complex of circular terraces hidden among the hills. The view of these terraces -- a sort of agricultural laboratory in ancient time -- against a backdrop of snow-covered mountains surrounding it, is unforgettable! Before our arrival in Cusco, we visited the beautiful village of Chincero with its charming ancient colonial church, Inca ruins and impressive surrounding landscapes.

By the time we arrived in Cusco, it was night fall. We got up early next morning to tour the city and its ruins. Cusco was the ancient capital of the Inca Empire, from the 13th to the 15th centuries when most of its amazing stone structures were built. After the Spanish conquest, many of the Inca palaces and temples were destroyed, but their foundations were retained and later put to good use in the construction of colonial buildings and churches. This has made Cuzco city a rich and unusual mixture of Inca and Colonial architecture. Not surprisingly, the city and its ruins is today a UNESCO World Cultural Heritage site. We visited Korikancha, the ancient Temple of the Sun on top of which the Spanish built the impressive Convent of Santo Domingo; and the Cathedral on the Main Square of Cuzco. Our tour also included a visit to nearby Inca ruins: the fortress of Sacsayhuaman – easier pronounced and remembered as "sexy woman"!-- a fortress with series of huge imposing stone structures expertly fitted together without the use of cement! Before leaving Cusco, we managed to squeeze in a visit to a local shop to purchase genuine 100% alpaca woolens that Peru is famous for. Now that I have the prized and superbly soft alpaca wool shawl to keep me warm on my occasional sojourns to colder countries abroad, what shall I do with my other old woolens?

In the afternoon, we flew to Puno to visit Lake Titicaca, the world’s highest and one of the longest navigable lakes. Upon arrival at Puno, during our coach tour en route to the lake, we made a brief stop at a local farm house to snap photos of the unique –- and very cute! -- South American camelids, such as the llama, alpaca and vicuna. Our coach excursion continued on to Chullpas de Sillustani, the site with funerary towers dating back from the 13th century, the highest among them is about 12 meters. The wonderful view and Lago Umayo (Umayo Lake, actually a lagoon) which is nearby, made this quick tour a very special experience.

We stayed the night in a lovely hotel located on the shore of Lake Titicaca, where we got to enjoy the tranquil atmosphere and the spectacular landscapes that surround it. The following morning, we departed from the hotels’ private pier on our boat trip to experience the magnificent scenery of Lake Titicaca and its beautiful attractions, such as the floating islands of the Uros Indians, and their unique caballitos or boats, both of which are made of reeds. (It was on this boat trip that my high school geography lesson practically came alive! Lake Titicaca is no longer just a strange-sounding foreign name in my text book many years ago.) We visited one of these islands, with houses also made of reeds, and learnt about the ancient traditions of the Uros. Then our boat continued to the fascinating Island of Taquile. Upon arrival we hiked around this idyllic island, inhabited by some 1,500 Quechua-speaking Indians, and famous for its hand weavings and an ancient communal way of life. We were told that there are no policemen, electricity or dogs on this island! We enjoyed a scrumptious lunch (with delicious grilled trout, no less!) at a local “restaurant” which is actually more of a rustic farm house. After lunch, it was another short hike down the mountain to the lake where we took the 4-hour boat ride back to our hotel in Puno.

We bid adios to beautiful Lake Titicaca and Puno early next morning to fly back to Lima. Upon arrival in Lima, we visited the Barranco Indian markets to buy more leather goods – which Peru is also famous for -- and souvenirs, and even went to Wong’s Supermarket to buy local food stuff such as quinoa grains, corn snacks and Peruvian chocolate! Before departure to the airport to fly home, we had a gourmet lunch at the renowned Señorio de Sulco restaurant, where every course came in a few varieties of small portions, delicious and beautifully presented. This lunch was indeed a befitting grand finale to our magical vacation in S America!

(For a photo version of this travel story, please go to
http://picasaweb.google.com/siowcklee/MyMemorableTripToSAmericaAug2010?authkey=Gv1sRgCPDg0Zi_4LjynQE)

For foodies, please read on....

South America, a cornucopia of culinary delights
For Malaysian travelers who are also compulsive foodies, a travel story is somewhat incomplete if there is no mention of food. From all the dining and wining of more than 2 weeks there, we now conclude that S America is a cornucopia of culinary delights. In restaurants offering the famous Argentine steaks (best in the world) or Brazilian beef (when in Brazil), we were often presented a diagram of bovine anatomy for ordering our food, because their large and delicious steaks came in many different cuts with specific names.

As S America is the original home of maize and the red hot chilli pepper, all kinds of corn snacks, maize tortillas and spicy condiments were aplenty. For some of our group members with typical Malaysian fire-eating habit, salsa with red hot chilli pepper chopped and blended with all kinds of other ingredients, was the favorite side dish at every meal, especially in Peru.

Then there were the ubiquitous empanadas, a classic snack available throughout SA in a variety of shapes and sizes. They are actually small pies or pasties – baked or fried, much like our curry puffs – except they are filled with generous portions of meat, chicken, fish, cheese and/or or vegetables. Heavenly delicious!

There is also the now world famous Peruvian cuisine, including the quinoa soup which has found its way to my kitchen and dining table ever since! Last but not least, whether you like Chinese food or not, you must try Chifa when you are in Peru. The term Chifa refers to both Chinese food and Chinese restaurants. Chifa is quite different from Chinese food in Malaysia or China for that matter. It is a fusion with Creole Peruvian cuisine, and not surprisingly, its unique and exquisite taste makes it very popular in Peru. We enjoyed their Chifa fried rice very, very much!

Other than the deliciously juicy meat of all kinds that the meat-eaters in our group overindulged in at various barbecue meals, also aplenty is a variety of freshly squeezed “genuine” fruit juices found everywhere. They are so readily available, from hotels’ breakfast offerings, to juice stalls in every nook and corner of the street (especially in Brazil) where these drinks are made to order! In addition to the usual and familiar orange, mango, papaya and passion fruit juices, there is also the currently much vaunted graviola (sour sop or durian Belanda) juice, said to be a great cancer cure these days.

In addition, there is the coca leaf tea that is offered free to tourists in hotels in Cusco, Machu Picchu and Puno, to help alleviate altitude sickness. Topping the list of drinks, is of course, the deceptively sweetish but lethal and moreish Pisco Sour. It is a delicious cocktail of Pisco (Peruvian grape brandy), crushed ice, lemon juice, sugar, egg white and angostura bitters. This was the welcome drink that nearly knocked some of us out at Hotel El Mapi in Aguas Calientes!

LEMBUcracy vs Democracy

This article is contributed by Steven Chen Lee, my fellow
East-West Center alumnus

Is our present Parliament a cow shed or is it an epitome of democracy? If it is to be the latter then our parliamentary system must change. All voting in Parliament especially on major issues must be by secret balloting instead of by show of hands or shouting of ayes. Only then can our MP’s vote with their conscience without fear or favor. They can vote according to what they perceived their constituents want and NOT what the PM/CM/MB wants. Our MP’s must be reminded that they are in the august house as the people’s representatives and NOT the PM’s or the Party’s representatives.

Although our parliamentary system is modeled after the U.K. Westminister’s system, it is still not perfect. There are ample rooms for improvement. The West still can learn from the East for true democracy. The Parliaments of Malaysia, U.K. and the Commonwealth countries are like slave galleys with the Party whip as the slave masters. The whips can dictate how the MP’s / ADUN’s vote. This is made worse when the ruling Party has more than 2/3 majority or when the people voted along the Party line like in Malaysia instead of voting for the individuals. Here like in the past before the 2008 general election the ruling Party (BN) which translated to the PM ruled supreme. The PM can dictate and cow Parliament into submission by threatening the MP’s with dismissals from the cabinet or other governmental positions. Worse he can drop them in the next coming election by not nominating them to contest. This way the MP’s have to toe the PM’s line all the time and behaved like cows or yes-men of the PM in the Parliament. Our MP’s / ADUN’s were being led by the nose like cows in the Parliament and the state assemblies respectively. Hence we have LEMBUcracy rather than democracy in our parliamentary system.

To aggravate the matter Malaysian voters tend to vote along the Party line rather than voting for the individual candidate based on the candidate’s own capability. The voters voted for the Party rather than for the individual candidate. So if a popular Party were to nominate even a monkey to contest under its’ ticket the useless monkey (candidate) would still win because the people voted for the Party regardless of the capability of the candidate.

During the time of Aristotle the councilors or senators could debate, discuss and voted freely in the council house or the senate. There was no Party whip to dictate to them on what to say or how to vote. There was true democracy then. Our parliament should be in this state of affairs where our MP’s can debate and vote freely with their conscience and without fear or favour with no one to dictate to them.

In the previous Penang state assembly where the two state assembly men (ADUN ) voted against the CM’s proposal to implement the PORR project and they were sanctioned and suspended from the Party for that. They had to sit with the opposition bench. At that time the ruling BN party was controlling more than 80% of the seats/ votes in the state assembly. Therefore the two dissenting votes were not even crucial or critical to the government. Instead the two ADUN’s merely wanted to register the displeasure of their constituents against the project. They were only carrying out their responsibilities and duties to their voters as expected of them. Instead the then CM wanted to fool the people into thinking that the state’s PORR project had the full and majority supports of the people when the truth was the people were against it.

What Pak Lah should do before leaving his office (Premiership) is to institute a parliamentary reform by introducing secret balloting in our Malaysian parliament. This form of voting is more dignified rather than the thumping of tables like school children. Let this be his legacy as the Premier who brought true democracy into the Malaysian parliament as well as the British , the Commonwealth and the world parliaments. I am sure all the MP’s in the world would want freedom to choose and to vote independently without any constrains according to their conscience.
Ps.
I will elaborate more on the OSA where the MP’s had to vote against their will during the discussion.

Sin Chew Daily's "Jing Ma" Awards

A Shocking Sunday Special (Part 1)
(the Happy Sunday supplement of Sin Chew, differently titled on 1/1/2011)

My Preamble:

There is this famous annual Taipei Jin Ma Film Festival and Awards (Jin means golden and Ma means horse) for the Asian film industry. This year, Sin Chew gave the Jing Ma awards to deserving personalities and events in Malaysia for the year ending 2010. This is a clever and humorous play of words and homophones in Mandarin, where “Jing” means “shock” and “Ma” refers to an abbreviation for “Malaysia”. The following is my translated and slightly modified version, with abridged explanations.

Prelude:

Looking back on 2010
That year, as intriguing as ever—politicians took turns to present their shows, lots of dramas and disasters (mostly man-made) continued…..
That year, not sure if we should count lecherous heads, or just scum
That year, should we be thankful for it, or loathe it?
Whatever….day after day of “shocks”, a year did pass us by…
This issue of our supplement now brings to you a record of shocking news in 2010 in the form of Jing Ma (Shock Malaysia) awards:

The most intriguing drama:
“Hero turned Villain”
Giving out the award is Wu Song, the tiger-killing hero in the Chinese classic “Water Margin” 水滸傳, also known as “Outlaws of the Marsh”.

The drama whereby an Orang Asli was first hailed as a hero for killing a “menacing and dangerous” tiger, mind you, bare-handed! We thought he was Wu Song reincarnated in Malaysia Boleh Land. But after all the songs and praises, what a turn of event, this hero was later found to be a tiger poacher! That’s only one of many reasons – both known and unknown -- why our tiger population is dwindling, a sad year for the tiger(s) indeed, in the Year of the Tiger 2010!

Other nominations:

The body of a handicapped girl was found, cut into pieces! This bizarre and grotesque case was closed after “investigation”. Reason: autopsy confirmed that she died of pneumonia! No need to investigate anymore? Intriguing……

Gambling license for the World Cup suddenly transformed into a business approval letter which only means: “we will consider your application for business”….. All the bookies in Malaysia cheered and heaved a big sigh of relief! How intriguing…….

The drama of “My God, the real culprit got away!” by the Selangor State Council Speaker.

The Best Box Office Buster:
“The Social Network”
Giving the award is Mark Zuckerberg

Facebook is the third largest “kingdom” in the world, in terms of population, just behind China and India. The meteoric rise to this honorable status is both amazing and intriguing….. This is the age where dual-nationality is permitted, as Najib is also a FB citizen!

Other nominations:
Youtube, everything can be shown to the rest of the world, including gangsterism in schools, who slept with whom etc. etc. You have youtube, I have youtube, now that all of us are in the tube….. so much pressure!

“1Malaysia” is more popular than KFC
According to Najib, the fame of “1Malaysia” is akin to that of KFC, Milo or Maggi Mee. Now that it’s a brand name, “1MalysiaCakehouse”, “1MalaysiaNasiLemak”, “1MalaysiaTehTarik” etc. etc. are aplenty..….Slogan is HOT, food may not be as good!

Best Actor Award
Lawyer Abdul Razak
Giving out the award is actor Tony Leung of Hong Kong

Abdul Razak, who? Oh, that attorney who represented MACC in the Teo Beng Hock case!
To be the best actor, one must be able to play every role from emperor, to beggar, to scholar, to clown etc. etc. For best effects, one must have the proverbial “7 expressions on one’s face”, must “use both mouth and hands”. For example, try strangling oneself using one’s own hands to act out the most innovative method of suicide. Another example, shoot one’s mouth, unabashedly with no sense of shame, saying things like “I can sit down, but you can’t stand up!” One more example: lose our face to the rest of the world by screaming “… court of inquiry lets the minority overrule the majority!” etc. etc…The best part was when he asked the defense lawyer: “Do you have the experience of jumping down from a tall building?” We will certainly remember his stellar performance for many years to come…..

The most popular actor award
Lim Guan Eng
Giving out the award is the most popular actor from Taiwan, Jerry Yan

Whoa, Lim Guan Eng hogs the newspaper headlines so very often! No one can surpass his popularity. Utusan Melayu loves him, gave him headline status even on the first day of Chinese New Year! Ministers, high level government officials all love to invite him for practicing their debating skills, calling him “communist’, accusing him of frequent travelling to Singapore & Hong Kong, selling national intelligence to other nations, calling him the “most kurang ajar chief minister” etc. etc……Since he is a “Chinese” CM, whether or not he really marginalizes other races, he is the first to be finger-pointed when it comes to getting a scapegoat for issues, real or imagined, such as: state government bans Malay wushu, Penang victimizes Malay hawkers etc. etc….Then there is the celup Lim Guan Eng on the net spewing forth racist slurs and remarks….so much so that as busy as he is as the CM of Penang, he is required to cooperate as a “suspect”, frequently going in and out of the police stations to “help in investigations”!
This head of a state has to endure so much pressure. Maybe that is why when people asked: if you make it to Putrajaya……his spontaneous reply is “I only want Penang, NOT Putrajaya!” Oh, such endearing words to the ears of Penangites, difficult NOT to be popular, eh?

Other nomination:
Karpal Singh
A total of 109 police reports against him in barely more than a year! This highlights his popularity with certain political parties and personnel. Other than being ridiculed for his handicap by that best actor award winner, record shows that from Jan 2009 till April 2010, Karpal was the subject of 109 police reports, filed mainly by UMNO youths. This works out to roughly one report every 4 or 5 days! At this rate, not only the one being reported is worn out; those who make reports, the police, and the wallets of taxpayers must all be drained too! No wonder Karpal’s desperate appeal: Please do not regard making police reports as a game!

To be continued in Parts 2, 3, 4…..

Political Shows of Malaysia in 2010

Most of my English-educated and Mandarin-illiterate friends have no idea what they miss out for NOT reading the major Chinese dailies. However, some of them who are aware of this "disadvantage" have requested that I do them a favor by translating for them the good "stuff" I come across in the Chinese papers. So, starting today, I shall be putting my blog to good use: I shall try to post at least one translated article per week in this blog.

Actually, I have NOT asked permission from the papers to do this. I reckon that they will not object knowing that I am NOT doing this for profit, but as some sort of "community service". If they do object to this, too bad, I will have to stop this free service. So, please be forewarned, I don't know how long this service is going to last....

This first posting is a cartoon from the Nan Yang Siang Pau on 01/01/2011. It is a parody of major political "happenings" in Malaysia in 2010. For a bigger picture with clearer labels, please double click on image, then pess [F11] for a full screen view.

The caricatures are very vivid, and the various politicians' antics are aptly illustrated. Let's see how many of these public figures you can recognise....Enjoy!

Pipa Xing

Pipa Xing by Bai Juyi (Tang Dynasty)
Translated by Gan Siowck Lee (June 2009)

One autumn night to the riverside I went
To send off friends visiting from afar
Amidst the rustling of maple leaves
From my horse I dismounted
My guests already on the boat awaiting

We lifted our cups to drink
But with no music
There was little merriment
Parting of way imminent
A tinge of sadness crept in

When came the time to bid farewell
The white water full moon lit
Suddenly the sound of pipa drifted in
Our hearts leapt up with such joy
That I forgot to head home
And my guests would not depart

Tracing the music to a boat nearby
We enquired who the musician was
Immediately the music stopped
The pipa player hesitant to speak
We approached the boat
To invite the lady to come aboard
We replenished the wine
Lit our lamps
Re-set the table to resume drinking

Many a time we beckoned
Until she made her appearance
With the pipa in her arms
Her face was half hidden
Adjusting the pegs
The strings she tenderly caressed
And a couple of notes she plucked
Though not even a tune
Her mood was spoken

Then she began to play
Pressing the strings one by one
Thinking her thoughts note by note
Telling a story
Of sadness in life

Lowering her brows
She went on playing
Pouring forth all that's in her heart

The strings she tenderly plucked
To warm them up
Stroking with her thumb
Picking with her little finger
She played first the Nishang
Followed by the Liuyiao
The bold strings rattled like pattering rain
The fine ones hummed like soft whispers
Pattering and whispering
As pearls big and small
Frolicking on a jade platter
The beautiful pipa tune
Was like the song of oriole in the flowering
bush
And the tinkling spring nearing the end of
its journey

Then the pipa sound
Like spring water meeting the cold
Became hoarse and smooth no more
The strings froze
Like the flow of water interrupted
Momentarily the music stopped

It was then came the subtle sadness
And hidden bitterness
Though all soundless
Silence spoke much louder

Suddenly came another sound
Of water from a silver vase splashed
Or the armored horsemen’s clattering
spears and swords
Bringing the music to an end
She struck the pipa in its midst
And strumming the four strings in unison
Like ripping a silk curtain apart
To the east and west of the boat
Silence prevailed no words spoken
Only the reflection of autumn moon in the
water
Painting a sea of pale whiteness

The pipa playing has come to an end
The lady sighed
Placed the plectrum amidst the strings
Tidying her dress
She rose elegantly from her feet

She said
She was from the capital
Her family lived south of Xiamoling
She learnt to play the pipa at age thirteen
Was once the best in the Conservatory

Her pipa performance
Held fellow musicians in awe
When dressed and adorned
Her beauty the envy of Chiu Liang

All the young men of Wuling
From rich and high society
Clamored to lavish on her
Gold and many gifts
By singing a song
Many li of red silk would she gain
She would dance
Till her finest hair ornaments
Fell and broke on the ground
Her red dresses wine-stained
With all the entertaining
A life of merriment year after year
Aimlessly swept past the lovely days
Of autumn moon and spring breeze
Her younger brother
Left to join the army
Her aunt passed away

Time slipped by
Night went away
After morning came tomorrow
Her beauty faded day by day
Till on her front door silence descended
Horse carriages of guests came no more
Eventually lowering herself
A tea merchant she married

The merchant
Cared not about her
But the pursuit of wealth
Just last month he had left
To Fuliang to trade tea

Often he came and went
At the estuary she was left
On the boat all alone
Surrounded by moonlight
And the cold river water

In the deep of the night
She would dream of her youth
And past splendor
She would weep in her sleep
Till tears smudged her face

When I listened to her music
I sighed for her
Now hearing her sad story
My sighs doubled

Like you I am a forlorn soul
But now that we have met
Does it matter we never knew each other?

Since I left the capital city last year
Banished here to Xunyang City
Unwell and sick
In bed I often stay

Xunyang is remote
No music all year round
Not a note to be heard
From any musical piece

My abode by the river
Lying in place low and damp
Only yellow reed and bamboo all around
From morning till night
What is to be heard?
Only the tearful sound of cuckoo
And the sad squeal of primates

When spring arrives and the river
blossom-lined
Or when the bright moon lights up the
autumn night
All alone I would drink my wine
Isn’t there the singing of folk songs or
the sound of flutes?
But this kind of banal music
Like babies learning to speak
Or the chattering of noisy birds
Is quite jarring to my ears

Your pipa tunes tonight
Like heavenly music
Have awakened my ears
Please do not decline
Do sit down to play an encore
A pipa song I will write in return
To you I will dedicate

Moved by my words
For a long while in silence she stood
Then stepping back to sit down
She tightened the strings yet again to play
The music now filled with emotion
Was melancholic unlike earlier tunes

All in the audience
Upon hearing the tune
Covered their faces to weep

Who shed the most tear amongst all?
Sima of Jiangjou it must be
(referring to the poet himself)
His blue garment
Wet by many tears

(The poet empathized with the forlorn lady whose sadness was reflected by her pipa tunes. The poet himself was demoted and banished to Xunyang, a place far away from the capital city of Chang An, present day Xi’an.)


Why did I choose to translate this particular poem?

This is a beautiful poem written by Bai Juyi, one of the famous poets of the Tang Dynasty. He was inspired to write this poem after his chance encounter with a lady pipa player.

Why did I choose to translate this poem? It's a long story. A few years ago, I saw a beautiful painting hanging in the studio of my art teacher who taught me Chinese brush painting. I fell in love with it instantly – yes, love at first sight! -- and decided to buy it there and then. This painting was done by an artist in China, who was inspired to paint this picture one summer night, after he read the Pipa Xing. As you can see from the painting, he is also an excellent calligrapher. (See photo on the right. Click on it and zoom in to see a bigger picture.) This perfect combination of picture and calligraphy epitomises the art of Chinese painting.

This painting has been taking pride of place in my living room. It's a wonderful conversation piece whenever friends come to visit me. Over time, I got tired of explaining the painting and the poem to my friends who do not read Chinese. So, I finally decided to translate it, and place a copy of it on the coffee table. After their visit, most of my friends would leave my house with the translation in hand. BTW, if my friends appreciate Chinese music, I would also take out my pipa music CD and play for them the piece entitled "Moonlit Night on Xunyang". I was told that the composer was inspired to write this piece of music after reading Pipa Xing. Whoa! This poem has inspired people to paint, write, compose music and even do translation! :-)

So far, my artsy friends were all entertained by this combination of pipa music, painting and poem, even though most of them don't even know a single word of Chinese! It is because of this that I decided to share this translation with Anglophone friends around the world. Hopefully, they will learn to appreciate beautiful Tang poems.

Here's the original poem in Chinese:

琵琶行 (Pipa Xing)
白居易(公元772-846)

元和十年,余左迁九江郡司马。明年秋，送客湓浦口， 闻舟中夜弹琵琶者。听其音，铮铮然有京都声。问其人，本长安倡女， 尝学琶琵于穆曹二善才。年长色衰，委身为贾人妇。遂令酒使快弹数曲。 曲罢悯然，自叙少小时欢乐事，今漂沦憔悴，转徒于江湖间余出官二年，恬然自安， 感斯人言，是夕始觉有迁谪意。因为长句歌以赠之，凡六百一十六言。命曰《琵琶行》。

浔阳江头夜送客，枫叶荻花秋瑟瑟。
主人下马客在船，举酒欲饮无管弦。
醉不成欢惨将别，别时茫茫江浸月。
忽闻水上琵琶声，主人忘归客不发。
寻声暗问弹者谁，琵琶声停欲语迟。
移船相近邀相见，添酒回灯重开宴。
千呼万唤始出来，犹抱琵琶半遮面。
转轴拨弦三两声，未成曲调先有情。
弦弦掩抑声声思，似诉平生不得志。
低眉信手续续弹，说尽心中无限事。
轻拢慢撚抹复挑，初为《霓裳》后《六幺》。
大弦嘈嘈如急雨，小弦切切如私语。
嘈嘈切切错杂弹，大珠小珠落玉盘。
间关莺语花底滑，幽咽泉流冰下难。
冰泉冷涩弦凝绝，凝绝不通声渐歇。
别有幽愁暗恨生，此时无声胜有声。
银瓶乍破水浆迸，铁骑突出刀枪鸣。
曲终收拨当心画，四弦一声如裂帛。
东船西舫悄无言，唯见江心秋月白。
沉吟放拨插弦中，整顿衣裳起敛容。
自言本是京城女，家在虾蟆陵下住。
十三学得琵琶成，名属教坊第一部。
曲罢躺撇欧背擅勘磺锬锒省?
五陵年少争缠头，一曲红绡不知数。
钿头云篦击节碎，血色罗裙翻酒污。
今年欢笑复明年，秋月春风等闲度。
弟走从军阿姨死，暮去朝来颜色故。
门前冷落车马稀，老大嫁作商人妇。
商人重利轻别离，前月浮梁买茶去。
去来江口守空船，绕船月明江水寒。
夜深忽梦少年事，梦啼妆泪红阑干。
我闻琵琶已叹息，又闻此语重唧唧。
同是天涯沦落人，相逢何必曾相识！
我从去年辞帝京，谪居卧病浔阳城。
浔阳地僻无音乐，终岁不闻丝竹声。
住近湓江地低湿，黄芦苦竹绕宅生。
其间旦暮闻何物，杜鹃啼血猿哀鸣。
春江花朝秋月夜，往往取酒还独倾。
岂无山歌与村笛，呕哑嘲哳难为听。
今夜闻君琵琶语，如听仙乐耳暂明。
莫辞更坐弹一曲，为君翻作琵琶行。
感我此言良久立，却坐促弦弦转急。
凄凄不似向前声，满座重闻皆掩泣。
座中泣下谁最多？江州司马青衫湿。

I hope my English translation has done justice to this beautiful poem! :-)